4 WAYS TO CULTIVATE SELF-AWARENESS

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A little can go a long way when it comes to self-awareness.

Self-awareness is a frequently discussed topic on many secular platforms. However, it’s a topic that seems to be forgotten in some Christian circles.

But I believe there’s an important conversation to be had about the significance of self-awareness in the life of a Christian.

II Corinthians 13:5 tells us to examine ourselves to see whether we be of the faith and to prove ourselves.

God wants us to get acquainted with ourselves–the true version. Because when we are aware of ourselves, we can recognize the areas in which we need to grow and remember God’s faithfulness in helping us to do so.

Today, I want to share four tools for self-evaluation to help you cultivate Godly self-awareness.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS

Shock has always been my first reaction when things don’t go my way.

Why? I’ll never know. Because, as it turns out, things rarely do go my way.

It’s life, and life happens.

Sometimes, it happens in smaller ways–we lose our keys, the car breaks down, or we receive hurtful words. 

Other times, it happens in larger ways– depression hits, a bad diagnosis threatens, or a divorce shatters your world.

Whatever unpleasant situation life throws our way, most of us have a similar reaction–protest.

As we look at the life in front of us, a video of the “what should have beens” replays in our head, and we are forced to choose a course of reaction.

Denial, anger, or despair may threaten.

We might feel tempted to reject reality, lash out, or, my personal favorite, mope around and wallow in self-pity.

These are normal, natural reactions for all normal, natural humans.

But just because something seems normal or feels natural doesn’t make it acceptable for us.

FIND A RECIPE FOR LEMONADE

We must learn the art of Godly self-control.

One of the first steps we can take toward this is to learn more about ourselves.

As long as we remain “in-the-dark” to our natural tendencies, we will struggle to control our responses to life’s many ups and downs.

Today, I want to tell you about the four methods of self-evaluation that I’ve used to cultivate the self-awareness needed to help me control my normal reactions and manage my natural tendencies.

TAKE A QUIZ

This first method of self-evaluation is my personal favorite.

I’m a self-assessment quiz junkie.

Whether it’s a complex personality assessment test or silly Buzzfeed quiz telling me which Avatar: The Last Airbender character I resemble the most, I’m there.

Full Disclaimer: I actually retook that Avatar:The Last Airbender quiz right after I typed that sentence. And I’m not even a little bit ashamed.

All joking aside, self-assessment quizzes have had a huge impact on my self-awareness.

The two tests that have been most influential are a Meyers-Briggs type test available on 16personalities.com and a simple Enneagram test.

Side note: there are paid versions of the Enneagram test, but I was able to find and take a free version online.

The test available on 16personalities.com is–surprise, surprise–a personality test.  

This test not only describes your personality, but it also gives details about your personality type’s common strengths, weaknesses, relationship habits, career possibilities, and more!

Unlike a Meyers-Briggs personality assessment, which details a static personality type, the Enneagram test determines and details how you’re likely to react to the outside world based on your personality type and natural tendencies. 

The Enneagram does this by asking a series of questions to determine your core motivators in life, i.e., your basic fear and basic desire.

I was honestly a little bit unnerved by how accurately these tests seemed to describe me.

So go take a personality quiz of your own. They’re incredibly informative–and fun!

For those of you who may be wondering, I’m an INFJ-T (The Advocate), an Enneagram 4 (The Individualist), though my 4 was almost tied with a 6 (The Loyalist). And according the results of my latest Avatar: The Last Airbender Buzzfeed quiz, I’m Prince Zuko. 

Feel free to leave your results in the comments below.

START A JOURNAL

Next up on the list of ways to cultivate self-awareness is journaling.

Sharing experiences and confessing feelings through the written word can be a fantastic way to process emotions and gain insight into yourself.

Some people spend time writing in their journals every day. I, personally, tend to journal sporadically, primarily during times of stress. For this, I find the free-form writing style most effective. 

Free-form writing grants liberty to write whatever comes to your mind. It pays no heed to syntax, rationalism, theology, or pleasantries of any kind. It simply serves to clear what is built up in the hidden parts of the mind.

When you write words to describe the things that you think and feel, sometimes you discover pieces of yourself that you didn’t know existed.

Sometimes, those pieces are beautiful and useful to your life and purpose. Other times, they’re simply broken shards of things that never should have been allowed inside.

The act of writing simply helps unpack and sort through those hidden pieces. Once you’ve cleared your mind of them, you can gather and store the pieces that should be re-applied to your life and leave the pieces that don’t belong on the page.

READ BOOKS OR LISTEN TO PODCASTS

Another way to gain insight into yourself is to read and listen to thought-provoking books and podcasts.

This is one of the gentler methods to cultivating self-awareness, as the words are never directed solely at you.

When you listen to or read something, you have the power to pick and choose which parts you want to apply to your life and which you want to leave behind.

I’ve read a lot of life-changing books and listened to several wonderful podcasts, but just for fun, I’ll share a couple of my favorites

Favorite Books:

• *The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst
• *The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
• *Mark of the Lion Trilogy by Francine Rivers

Favorite Podcasts:

• The Next Right Thing with Emily P. Freeman
• The Real Life Podcast with Jeff and Alyssa Bethke
• Marriage After God with Aaron and Jennifer Smith

ASK A FRIEND

Another way to learn about yourself is to ask someone.

But be warned. This method is by far one of the most direct, potentially painful, possibly flawed methods of self-discovery.

Because people are just that–people. And most cannot possibly see the complete picture of who you are.

People are often trapped by an incomplete or inaccurate perspective of who they are themselves. As such, they may not be able to give a completely accurate account of who you are.

So if you take this route at any point, do so with caution.

I recommend asking people that you know you can trust. 

You can ask your friends, family, spouse, or kids to fill you in on what they perceive to be some of your strengths and weaknesses. I promise that at least one of them will have some words of wisdom to impart.

Learning about your less-than-pleasant attributes will still be painful, but hearing about them from someone who loves you can soften the blow.

PRAY

Prayer is one of the most important and underrated things you can do to increase your self-awareness.

I almost didn’t include prayer on this list, because it’s such an obvious solution: ask God.

But then I reflected on my own prayer life history and decided it’s well-worth the mention.

If you do all the other things on this list, you will learn helpful information about yourself, but it will all be based on human perspective and experience.

But we need God’s perspective.

We need Him to show us the Truth about who we are instead of just listening to others’ descriptions and assessments of us.

And when we go to the Lord in prayer humbly asking Him to show us ourselves, He will show Himself faithful and do so.

He will show us our strengths and weaknesses. He will show us where we can grow and where we need to change. And ultimately, He will show us our need of Him in everything.

BUT IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY

Self-evaluation is essential to the cultivation of self-awareness. And self-awareness is needed for personal growth. 

Our level of self-awareness has an impact on every area of our lives. A healthy dose of self-awareness is important in the life of every individual, but I believe it’s especially important in the life of a Christian.

Our lives are a testimony of who God is. As such, when we act and react poorly, we run the risk of showing a dangerously distorted reflection of who He is to others.

We want to be a true reflection of God’s grace, mercy, and love to everyone.

When we take time and put forth effort to evaluate our normal reactions and natural tendencies, we can learn which parts of ourselves need to be pruned in order for the light of Christ to shine through.

So be sure to spend some time in self-reflection this week. Pay attention to what’s going on in your heart and mind.

Because life happens. We can’t control most of life’s many variables. God alone is in control. We can only decide our reaction to them.